Written by: Pana •
October 20, 2009
I read a very interesting article on another website, it was so insightful I decided to share my thoughts on this issue. Growing up I didn’t want to learn how to cook, shit I barely wanted to clean my room. Every time it is drilled into young girls head “you have to learn this “what kind of man are you going to have if you don’t” or my personal favorite line “you can not get a husband if you do not do this “ My response each time is my husband will cook ,clean and wash my clothes (yea right :o/). I still soaked up all the information that my drill Sargent was feeding me. It wasn’t until I reached about 18 then I was thankful for all lessons learned. I hate a man with a dirty house. Actually I want a man who is neater than me so I know for sure I won’t have to clean up after him lol !!!!! I guess people take advangte and do not appreciate the good things they expect too much , so it makes it easier to explore all options because there are no more morals and principles. Some people pop the question just to shut you up (smh)Anyway in this article this man states that a man will never marry you, if you one already cater to him, and act like you are married for instance :
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move in together before marriage “
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have sex w/o protection
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clean his apartment ,cooking “playing house”
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Calling him hubby, him calling you wifey etc
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wash his clothes
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laying up w/each other for hours at a time
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talking about forever but no commitment is in place
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Putting things in each others names
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Keys to apartment
*When you do these type of marital acts, you are giving a person the opportunity to use you up. They are getting the most out of you already so “why would they marry you?”.
He also stated that if your not married your single!!!!!!!. People do not owe you anything because your dating. You are single until he puts a ring on your finger only then you are in a committed relationship. Doing Martial Acts without being married.
I have to admit I’m guilty of this very same act smfh. I guess times have change I have been bread to do all these things. How do you show you are marriage material ??? I have a lot of questions, but you know what I agree I’m single I’m not married never been , never been close I guess the old saying is true why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Very insightful.
Thank you Life Skills I needed this post.
Knowing is half the battle ,
Pana
I cannot say I agree with this article. I was in a relationship at the tender age of 13. We got our first apartment when I was 16, doing all those household duties except for making dinner at the age of 16. At the age of 21 I was married at the age of 25 I was a mother of 2 and we purchased our first home in the suburbs of Baldwin Harbor NY to give on children more than we had. If a man does not want to marry you it’s not because of those reasons. I suggest to those who believe this article and think that there is some truth to it dig deeper into your previous relationship and ask questions. We need to start asking our black men why do they have a problem with commitment. White women do it all the time and yet they get married!
True Story I believe that we should ask our men why do they have a problem with commitment, but that is another blog entirely. this blog is about In todays society is this true, because it seems to be Please note there are exceptions to every rule. Love your comment btw ;o)
Wow.. This article that you are quoting from and the Male that wrote it sounds like an idiot. Men get married because they want to. I find the comment “why buy the milk when you are getting the cow for free” COMICAL. Perhaps he would buy the cow because one day he realizes that he cannot live without that particular milk! Out of all of the women that I know who are married or have been lived with their spouses BEFORE they were married. Every single one of them.
It’s typical of a man to say “people don’t owe you anything, if a man/woman is in a relationship and is NOT married then they are considered single”. DUH? Technically he is correct however, this argument allows a man to have a woman at home and one in the streets, and justify it. This is the type of man I call a player and probably has NO desire to get married, or atleast anytime soon he would HAVE to change his way of thinking. His statement IMO speaks VOLUMES in regards to his character. Is he saying without a ring there are no limits? I disagree. This is a prime example of what’s wrong with our society right now. What happened to common courtesy? Respect for one another?
Since you started this topic let’s talk about and explore the REAL reasons why there are less marriages today, because being a good woman/man to your S/O is not one of them. Taking one man’s opinion on marriage and using it as a blanket statement doesn’t cut it for me. As you have stated in your previous entries “there is an exception to every rule” including this one.
I must say that I have never lived with anyone other than my child’s father but guess what he wanted to get married I didn’t and it had nothing to do with the fact that I was getting milk for free. 🙂
Anonymous …..Thank you for actually addressing this particular blog. In some ways I do understand where is is coming from , BUT I do believe people in todays society without morals or principles cause it to be this way. Now there are a lot of people that claim they have morals and principles but it doesn’t apply to them only you. I think if someone Tells you they want to be in a committed relationshsip they should follow thru and honor that period !! That have your cake and eat it to mentality is WACK !!! Men (some) get stuck in a woman is suppose to do this and that …You are not a woman so don’t tell me how she is suppose to act or what she should do. Because GOd forbid you tell a man to man up and he saus you can’t tell a man to be a man. Like people only you excuses when it fits there circumstance. But it was very insightful to me because is this what the modern man thinks ??? Is it ok to abuse our women ?? Why aren’t we setting standards and sticking to them. Thank you so much for your response. I love hearing other peoples opinions…. Please stop by again.
Pana
The reality is that as a wife you will have to take certain responsibility such as, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. It comes with the territory, however, I will say be careful with the message youre sending. A marraige and a family is hard to maintain. If these things are being done and not appreciated the relationship will go down hill. Think about it this way. In today’s world, should women be portraying that same image even before marriage. Most of us work and even have more demanding jobs than some men. Dont set yourself up. The roles you want to take as a wife should be obviouse before marraige.
@ Anon I love your views because I agree completely because that is how I see things thanks for your comment and showing my blog love.