Istockphoto.comFriends with benefits. We’ve all had them, and some think it’s the perfect scenario:
You’re out with your girlfriends having a blast, and 2AM rolls around. You’ve had a few cocktails, and you wouldn’t mind making out with a boy so you whip out your cell and shoot a text to your special friend.
Minutes might go by before you hear back. You start wondering if your FWB has moved on to another FWB, and now you’re bummed because you were counting on him!
But wait, your cell phone beeps…and it’s him!
You hug your girls goodbye and haul ass to his place. You enjoy a night of no strings attached whateva. When you’re through you kiss him on the cheek and you’re off—til’ next time!
Many think this type of relationship is ideal, but in most situations, it seems to lead to trouble. Women and men are hardwired differently, so while I think a man can easily walk away from casual sex, a woman ends up thinking about it the next day…and the day after! Plus, one person always ends up getting more attached. When it comes to this kind of relationship, I always advise my girls to proceed with caution. I’ve always been the type to date like one guy at a time but sometimes I wonder how it would be….No stress, not worrying about where he is what he is doing, if you hear something it’s not your problem you do not feel jerked around or played. You know where you stand. Do get me wrong I’m not innocent, I didn’t fall in love with every dude I dealt with. I don’t think this is for me, but the again I wonder how it would be hummm………
What do you think? Thumbs up or down for the FWB relationship?
well.. when you say you wonder how it would be “not wondering where he is” or stressing.. to be honest, i think the only way you could accomplish this is if you honestly didnt care about it.. meaning, i dont think having a friends with benefit situation, or “talking” to multiple people at once would keep you from caring too much about one person, if its somebody who has qualities you would like a lot i dont think anything will stop you from being attracted to those qualities.
as for me, friends with benefits two thumbs way down. i just cant really get into fucking somebody who im not invested in beyond a “friend” level. seems boring to me, and i personally never “need some” bad enough to make a fwb worth it.
My sentiments exactly..I just can’t deal with a guy and give him my “goods” for nothing like for one thing it’s too much gong around, second I don’t have time for the BS either I fuck with you or not !!! I don’t have time for the games.
well..from my personal experiences, I have learned that FWB can seriously backfire if the person begins to take it for more than what it is. At first, things can be full of excitement, passion and adventure with no strings attached but once emotions start to settle in, u can have a serious case of what i call “psycho-ism” which can get very , very ugly…i recommend not having any FWB and instead focues on building a relationship that are more meaningful….
i am soo happy i ran across a topic like this..
I’m actually in this situation right now! i met and became friends with a dude he told me his situation from the beginning he had a girl at home and i was single so i didnt mind being his mistress or what not. we would always Call/Text eachother whenever we felt the need to have it. he came by my place a few times and so on but then a 2 months roll by and now all of a sudden im starting to catch feelings. im finding myself more attached and now im demanding more from him like EX: calls, text, seeing me more him and i know im wrong cause i knew his sitation from the beginning and i decided to mess with him anyway. his girl lost her job so shes always around him more so NOW that means we see Less of eachother, we talk maybe twice a week now, and im pissed im always mad at him, whenever we do talk we’re arguing back and forth i even threated to tell his girl about all his side agendas which i kno is not cool but i kinda flet like it was both of our man lol weird right i was falling for dude and its like we’re never on the same level anymore. ANY ADVICE??
MY ADVICE to any thats reading this make sure you kno what you’re gettin yourself into theres alot of hard work being the “Other Chick” also if you know you have a easy heart you might wanna think Twice before you decide to become the MISTRESS or else things will get ugly!!
‘TO EACHES OWN’- call it being a good girl..call it not really experienced or call it..maybe my shit is so that fly i WON’T have “FWB”. Well not every woman responds..or reacts the very same way. I mean honestly..not every girl HAS to get “soft and pink”. An FWB…simply if you can HANDLE it. PERIOD.
Once upon a time Forever 4 Right Now might have been all you needed to think about…but MEN will always be a MAN 1st. If you choose to involve yourself with an FWB then the BS that may come with it you’ll have to prepare for IF you care 2 b around long enough. Not every woman is on the “please i’m no hoe…I am a 1 man at a time girl” but what you do in your bed behind closed doors is YOUR business. Some women LOVE sex..just love to experiement with it…sometimes those b the woman that is more adventurous about safe sex & end up taken your MAIN dude!
In 2009 both men & women have become overtly sensitive for just about TOO many things..as for my own goodies anything i do is MY choice PERIOD! Men kiss and tell..FACT! There is a book out by Steve Harvey entiteled “Act like woman THINK like a MAN” a great read! Sometimes us women need to just man the BLEEP up! IF all u got time for is YOUR life..job/home/school/kids/bills please having a relationship & the BS drama ppl think is worth going through is not your forte! If more women shut’em down long enough & still can be picky…you’ll get what you want…cause GAMES is something ppl play in RELATIONSHIPS and in FWB situations..so keep thinking he is only with u AIN’T NOTHING GUARANTEED….DAMNED IF U DO DAMNED IF U DON’T!
~End/Fin~
LMFAO @ Forever for right now !!! I still live by that but added a few rules !!! Key word For right now !!! I appreciate all of your comments.
Anon#1 – Everyone has been there even some that think they haven’t. It is nothing wrong with that, it’s part of life experience and makes learn won’t you will and will not torelate.
Anon#2- Yes Men will always be men but I am a women and I chose what I dealt with and don’t if every woman stuck by their morals and principles they we wouldn’t have AS Much heartache, We have to learn not to bend our morals and principles because in the end we lose and end up with hurt or regret.
I would say go for it we only have one life to live. I have done it myself for many different reasons but mainly for the simply fact i’m a very busy business woman. I try to avoid attachments and heartache.